Is there enough time to be “mom”?

Lately I have been feeling like I am a bad mom … I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out what it is that has been making me feel like that because I know I am not a bad mom.  After spending some time in my own head I began to put the words “bad mom” and “not enough time” together. 

Let me run you through my typical day… alarm goes off a 5:30, get ready leave for work by 6:40 get off work around 3:30 get home by 4:00 then leave for school by 4:50 and return home between 8:00-10:00 depending on the night.  So where does my son fit in there?  Most nights I get home and he is already sleeping, most mornings he wakes up as I am leaving so that leaves the hour I have between work and school … so what happens when I get home and I’m holding him and he starts crying… he won’t stop, isn’t a mom supposed to calm her child?  But all he wants is his dad (his dad stays home and takes care of him all day. Hence trigger the “bad mom” feeling…

So where does the line get drawn between having your own career and your own job but still leaving time for being a mother?  Is there possibly enough hours in the day to do it all?  I have realized that it’s not that I am a bad mom but that I feel like I don’t spend enough time with my son.  When I get in this funk, I have to take a step back and remember we made all these decisions because they are what is best for our family.  I need to work so I can provide the life I want for my son and I need to tough out the next three months to finish my Master’s Degree with the hope it will help me get a job to continue providing for my son.  And now is the best time to finish school because I will graduate just shy of his six month mark, so in the big picture of things I am not missing many milestones.

But sometimes it’s hard, its hard to get up and go to work and go to school because when I see this face all I want to do is stay in bed with him all day…

 How do you do it all and still feel like a “good” mom?


3 responses to “Is there enough time to be “mom”?

  • Jessica

    I feel your pain. I used to work full time m-f, go to school 4 hours a night m-th. I had to go straight from work to school and I wouldn’t get home until 9 or 10 at night and usually my daughter was asleep. It is hard and can sometimes make us feel like we are bad moms but the truth is we are not. We are doing what we need to. You are lucky that you will be done with school by the time your son is 6 months old. I didn’t go backt to school until my oldest was 1 so I have missed large amounts of my children’s lives while I have been at school. Luckily he is young enough so that he won’t remember that you were gone when he was a baby and soon he will cry only for his mama.

  • jessplassmeyer

    Jessica – you make me feel so better! Sometimes its really hard when I leave for work and he is sleeping and I get home and he is sleeping but I just look at his sweet smile and remember that in the end this is for him so he can have an amazing life. Being a mom is no way an easy job… I can’t wait for the days when all he wants is his mama!

    • Jessica

      You are right, being a mom is not an easy job at all. It breaks my heart at night sometimes when I have to leave my family upstairs and go downstairs to do my homework. I can hear them upstairs playing or asking for me but I have to do my homework. It is difficult to find balance and no one is perfect but we do the best we can for our family and for our future. And at least daddy can stay home with the baby right now instead of having to send him to daycare all day.

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